There's a lot of communities out on the internet, isn't there? I'm sure most people running around here are present in one or two. Nice, isn't it? People to talk with, share information with, to stomp trolls in unison with, or someone else to troll with. I got a feeling most people underestimate how important something like that is.

Being around multiple places over the course of my Internet "career" has taught me that I don't belong anywhere. From the source of my nickname on Pokemasters in 2000 to a few, small, friend-held forums over the years, to carousing the dream-in-code forums, and to here, I end up not having that warm sense of acceptance.

That's not saying no one's been friendly. If anything, I'm the one being a douchebag in most of these places. I seriously have a very hard time finding common ground with people, and have for as long as I can remember. And it's really not helping me keep myself stable at all.

What's even worse is that this doesn't even apply just to the internet. This happens in real life, too.

I'm losing all motivation once again. A repeat of last year, so far. I can't get any work done as C# is nothing but a minefield as far as I'm concerned. Every solution to a problem opening up another batch of flaming bags of turds on my doorstep. Combining this with a depression caused by working alone all the time and involuntary unemployment, I'm really not having a good time. I've got a lot of projects I want to do, part of me thinks I NEED to do them, but they're too big for one guy to do alone.

I'm probably going to fall back to doing nothing but lurking for a while. At the moment, it's all I seem to be good at.